TINA Fey has gone uncensored in a searing monologue, sounding off on Donald Trump and last weekend’s white supremacist rally in Charlottesville that left one dead.
Appearing on Weekend Update: Summer Edition in the US overnight, Fey — a University of Virginia alumna — gave her personal view of the week’s events in a hilariously brutal six minute routine.
“I have nothing but fond memories of my time there,” she said of her time at the University of Virginia. “I graduated a virgin and I still liked it. That’s how good the architecture is down there.”
“So it broke my heart to see these evil forces descend upon Charlottesville. And then our president, Donald John Trump — and I don’t think enough people talk about what a stupid, jackass name that is. Whatever, he gets away with it because he’s gorgeous.
“Anyway, Donny John comes out and he says that he condemns violence ‘on many sides,’ on many sides! I’m feeling sick because, you know, I have seen Raiders of the Lost Ark and I wasn’t confused by it. No, Nazis are always bad, I don’t care what you say.”
Fey went on to address the planned “alt-right” rallies set to take around America over the weekend — including Manhattan’s Washington Square Park.
“Part of me hopes these Neo-Nazis do try it in New York City and get the ham salad kicked out of them by a bunch of drag queens. Because you know what a drag queen still is? A 6’4” black man,” she said.
She continued: “But, at the same time, I don’t want anymore good people to get hurt. I know a lot of us are feeling anxious and asking ourselves, what can I do? I’m just one person, what can I do? I would urge people Saturday, instead of participating in the screaming matches and violence, find a local business you support, maybe a Jewish run bakery or African-American run bakery.”
To deal with the frustrating events in the news cycle, Fey then encouraged everyone to buy an entire sheet cake and stress eat it.
She dubbed the “grassroots movement”: “Sheet-caking”.
Fey completed the rest of her six minute monologue while hacking into the cake and spooning it into her mouth.
“The next time when you see a bunch of white boys in polo shirts screaming about taking our country back and you want to scream: ‘It’s not our country, we stole it! We stole from the Native Americans. And when they have a peaceful protest at Standing Rock we shoot at them with rubber bullets, but we let you chinless turds march the streets with semiautomatic weapons!’”
“When you want to yell that, don’t yell it at the clan. Yell it into the cake.”
The comedian went on to label Ann Coulter a “yard sale Barbie” and sarcastically asked: “Also, who drove the car into the crowd? Hillary’s emails?”
After dipping a grilled cheese sandwich into the cake, Fey concluded the epic take-down by encouraging Americans to ignore the planned rallies.
“I really want to encourage all good, sane Americans to treat these rallies this weekend like the opening of a thoughtful movie with two female leads: Don’t show up.”
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